What not to do on Facebook


There’s no denying that Facebook has a plethora of advantages for its users

It’s a way to connect with loved ones, to share fun memories, get interesting information, have a laugh, learn something new, get your daily news, catch up on gossip, stalk your ex, stalk a friend/enemy you secretly admire but outwardly hate and the list goes on

But with all things that are good, there will always be a flip side; people tend to abuse and overuse Facebook to the point that it becomes, quite frankly, an annoying pain in the a** for everyone else on their friends list

Disclaimer:  This article is for amusement purposes

For those who are easily offended, instantly incensed, looking for reasons to have an outburst, or have no sense of humour; please, move on

Otherwise, keep on reading because you are about to find out just what not to do on Facebook

1

Don’t be an obnoxious relationship flaunter I swear if I have to read yet another “#Besthubbyever! So blessed to have you in my life! Xoxo!” Status update, I will end up in jail for attempted manslaughter

No one wants to hear your sappy and over the top proclamations of undying love for your husband/boyfriend/partner

Instead of logging onto Facebook every time your heart starts overflowing with undeclared love, do us all a favour, jolt your snoring love machine from his stupor and enlighten him

I assure you, the 500 plus people on your friends list will thank you for this small favour

2

Keep your food fetish in the kitchen, where it belongs Unless you are a food blogger or plan on sending a food package or dinner invitation to everyone on your friends list, no one cares about what you cooked today

So, put down the camera and let us eat in peace

Still not convinced you have a compulsive obsessive food disorder? Mental health experts have linked taking and sharing too many pictures of food to mental illness – time to check into the looney bin pal

3

The birthday, anniversary, childbirth rant So, it’s your spouse’s, boyfriend’s, children’s birthday, anniversary or their kindergarten graduation

That’s just fabulous

Maybe you should wish them in person, unless your husband is a soldier deployed in Africa or your first born is in boarding school in Alaska

And unless you intend on auctioning off that birthday cake, gifts, used gift wrap and all the candles you own and lit (just for taking those pictures), there is no need to broadcast them along with an over the top nauseating status update on Facebook

We really don’t care

4

The accidental supermodel/selfie queen Okay here are the facts: You are no Kate Moss or Gigi Hadid and the paparazzi won’t chase you even if you paid them

So quit posting pictures of yourself where you happen to be casually strolling along, fully kitted up

You don’t fool anyone with your ‘caught off-guard’ profile picture comprising of a few hundred shots of you in monochrome

Same goes for the typical ‘looking over the shoulder’ or ‘staring out in the distance’ accidentally-on-purpose selfies

We are sick of them

Spare us

5

The overzealous parent Yes we know your children are the centre of your life, just like they are for every other parent

Let’s just keep it that way

No one but your family and your closest, loyal and obligated friends will want to see and comment on endless pictures of your little ones in their rompers, dresses, awake, asleep, on their own, being forced to pose next to stuffed toys, holiday props, your sleeping husband

You get the idea

6

The compliment inventor So the supermarket, grocery store or the gas station clerk couldn’t believe you hadn’t even graduated from first grade and you were already the mother of two? Maybe you should stop shopping at stores that: 1

Don’t offer vision insurance to the staff – the guy has cataracts

2

Don’t mind their staff coming in drunk to work 3

Encourage the staff to lie through their teeth in order to get tips

7

Thy mother is thy life We have no doubt that your mother is your backbone, your rock, your entire world

We are also 100 per cent sure she would love it if you were to tell her this in person or over the phone instead of posting it on Facebook along with grainy pictures of your unrecognisable past

8

The desperado Yes, you know who you are

The attention craving poster of statuses that range from “I’m so alone”, “My life is over”, “I’m pissed”, “Feeling so sick”, “Best day ever!” and “Las Vegas here I come!” don’t fool anyone

The fact is, your narcissistic, sympathy seeking and envy invoking attempt is not only glaringly transparent, it is profoundly annoying to the vast majority of people on your list

9

The overly devoted husband Guys like these are a subsection of the ‘relationship flaunter’; he won’t even be able to digest his meal unless he brags about it first on Facebook

“My darling wife made me a smashing meal today!” Followed by several pictures of the aforementioned meal probably taken under duress

Thanks a lot

As if the half a dozen pictures your wife posted minutes before to convince us that your home is an underground five Michelin star restaurant, we would never have known

Now why don’t you go wash the dishes and belch out Justin Bieber’s Baby to your Martha Stewart while you’re at it? 10

The rambling ranter This person’s form of sustenance is to constantly rant

Science, politics, sports, religion or social causes, no matter what the hot topic of the moment may be, you can always expect an endless stream of opinionated, obnoxious and awkward witticisms from yours truly

His opinions are a deceptive invitation to engage in a ferocious, often venomous discourse in order to shove their righteous beliefs down every ones throats



Date:23-Apr-2016 Reference:View Original Link