Guys, we can no longer have an opinion on chicken handi



com/watch?v=dYmZLoRRUK8 The time for conservative propaganda is over kyunkay naya zamana aya aur saath cybercrime bill laya (a new era has arrived, and it has brought the cybercrime bill with it)

 The government in Pakistan wasn’t content with suffocating all the breathing space in real life so they moved to cyber space

No longer can liberal people spout such anti-nationalistic rhetoric as the truth

No longer can people express themselves freely

No longer can a person have an opinion about a chicken handi

The tyranny of food forums on social media are at an end – thanks to the Prevention of Electronic Crimes Act (PECA)

If people want good food and customer service, they should just move abroad

In Pakistan, we like our food like we like our streets; dirty, bumpy on the way down and full of rat faeces

Restaurants will soon be employing Café Flo style tactics to keep out all bad reviewers

But if those tactics fail, fear not, the PECA is here to protect them from criticism

Any self-respecting Pakistani can never stand by as the honour of one of Pakistan’s restaurants is tarnished

If the restaurant was at fault, or a KFC at Nipa Chowrangi, people are free to burn it down but they can never say the achari handi was less than perfect online

Fire and matches may burn my Kentucky Fried Chicken, but words hurt the most

How can a nation feel better about itself without instructing its people online to kill themselves? Much like Qandeel Baloch died for our sins

The only joy in my otherwise miserable life was to sit behind a computer screen and tell a young girl (forced into marriage, abused, and left to fend for her) to go kill herself for posting videos online

 There is so little joy with Qandeel gone

Thankfully, Mohammad Hafeez is back so I can feel better by telling him to do the same these days

The PECA could not help Qandeel but it can help protect the honour of chicken achari handi

All men in Pakistan can sleep peacefully knowing that their chickens will firmly be in the chaar deewari (four walls) of the handi without any other man tarnishing its honour online

Orya Maqbool Jaan is free to glorify murderers and claim all women love sado-masochism on national television but he could be arrested if he doesn’t like chicken achari handi

Rest assured, the government of Pakistan has its priorities right

It doesn’t bother me when women get raped in Pakistan but it bothers me when Indians comment on a Pakistani girl’s rape story on the Express Tribune page

Like the government of Pakistan, I have my priorities right

Like Aamir Liaquat I will make a video holding the Pakistan flag but defame Pakistanis worldwide by continuing to be Aamir Liaquat

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com/video/x2ddga4_geotv-subh-e-pakistan-program-incites-hatred-against-ahmadiyya-muslims_news[/embed] Minorities in Pakistan do not have to worry about being persecuted anymore

The government will protect its citizens and prevent all kinds of terrorism

As soon as it is done arresting people for comparing Nawaz Sharif to Shrek on the internet

Clearly, buses are not the only thing Nawaz Sharif is importing from Turkey

Nobody ever complained when Mountbatten travelled first class but Rehman Malik boards the plane after all the common people have boarded and suddenly it becomes an internet sensation? Good that the perpetrator of this malicious video was charged under the Maintenance of Public Order act and lost his job

Now with the PECA, no common person will ever dare to make a video of a politician being a politician

If a politician wanted to follow the rules like a citizen, he would have chosen to be a person rather than a politician

If a person wants to make a video of a politician or a police officer or a rich person doing a crime, the video maker should ask that person first

Courtesy never killed anyone, a simple ‘hey, can I just make a video of you while you take a bribe from me?’ could prevent you from going to jail for making an illegal video

Citizen journalism is for channels like CNN, in Pakistan we suffer and internalise hate

If you still feel angry, fortunately, there are a lot of marginalised groups we can oppress to make ourselves feel better

Anybody who has ever heard a whistle knows the horrible shrieking sound it makes

I fully support the government’s decision to arrest all whistle blowers

Life was so much better when there was one state-run TV show and nobody found out when mass massacres occurred

I was happy believing Bangladesh-Pakistan had a happy break up till all these news channels destroyed my memories with factual reporting

All that these Pakistani journalists are concerned about are reporting stories without realising these stories paint Pakistan in a negative light

No, it is not the perpetrators of the crime that tarnish Pakistan’s name, it’s the stories themselves

What are a few mass murders between friends? There is a reason that a part of the Islamabad 111 brigade’s training is learning how to climb the walls of the PTV office

However, anyone who sends me an Eid message with two million flowers spelling out “Eid Mubarak” does definitely deserve to go to jail

Wait – I will be right back

There seems to be a knock at the door


is that the police? Um, what? Why are you arresting me

Just as the cybercrime bill was passed, the author was immediately arrested for writing this blog

 Irony has been deemed illegal all across Pakistan

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Date:12-Aug-2016 Reference:View Original Link