If seeing six-year-old children dance is sexually attractive, the problem lies with your sick mind, not the girls


https://www

facebook

com/NewssUpdatesOfficial/videos/536563956715203/ To add insult to injury, the promotional clips for these videos displayed pictures of participating children next to Bollywood item queens, as if posing the question “who did it better”

The outrage was, thus, neither unwarranted nor surprising

However, looking at the outrage, I am baffled at how some people have used these clips to justify what has been happening in our country

How can any normal individual look at a child, regardless of what they are wearing or doing, and perceive them to be sexually attractive? Who looks at a child and thinks of them in a sexual manner? Only sick minds are capable of doing that

Ask any child in Pakistan, and they will most likely have at least one story of harassment, cruelty, exploitation or a narrow escape to share

I consider myself to be among those few incredibly lucky ones who didn’t face anything too damaging during their childhood

However, being born female, and raised in a country where roughly 11 children are abused every single day, I have had my share of narrow escapes

Growing up, like any other child, my world also revolved around my family, friends and playing

But once I entered my teens and started learning about life, albeit on my own with little guidance on such matters, I realised how blessed I was to never have experienced the atrocities that many children are not lucky enough to escape

There is one incident of narrow escape that still makes me immensely proud of myself, which happened when I was around seven or eight-years-old

During those days, children could play outside with their friends without being hit by a stray bullet or getting kidnapped, and even if they did, we never heard about it on TV the next day

I was playing with a friend of mine when a street vendor selling corn and chickpeas, who used to frequently visit our area, started pelting us with chickpeas

He was sleazily singing a song which we didn’t understand, and started following us on the street

My immediate reaction was to run inside my home and tell my father about what had happened

My dearest Abbu, who was entertaining a guest, did not ask any questions or order me to stay in the house

Instead, he rushed outside and informed the chowkidar (guard), and also warned the vendor of grave consequences if he was ever to be seen in the locality again

At that time, I didn’t comprehend what had happened, or what could have happened

If anything, I was pleasantly surprised to see that for once, my father had picked a fight for me instead of asking us to forgive an unkind friend, cousin or an annoying classmate

Little did the child in me understand that this experience was very different from the harmless disagreements I had with friends and acquaintances

After all these years, whenever I read about child sexual exploitation in our country, I always reminiscence about this incident and realise how innocent children are and how horrible some adults can be

As strange as the episode was, I do appreciate a few things that happened on that day

First, I informed my father of the incident without any hesitation

My siblings and I were to share every minute detail of our lives with our parents, which is why I wasn’t afraid of reaching out to them; it was routine for me

We did get scolded when we deserved it, but I do feel that encouraging us to share strengthened our bond as a family and gave us the confidence to speak up

Second, there was no awkwardness or anger or embarrassment afterward

My father never stopped us from playing outside, and he didn’t make it seem like an outlandish experience

Although I feel that as a parent I would do something slightly different – I would explain to my child what had happened, or what could have happened, but I suppose that those times were indeed very different

Third, and most importantly, I don’t remember my parents asking me to not wear frocks or to start wearing a scarf or a carry a dupatta following the incident

I remained a child for many years to come, and my innocence was never questioned, stifled or challenged

Unfortunately, things are very different now

A seven-year-old Zainab gets brutally murdered, and people conclude that westernisation is responsible for it

The Kasur scandal is once again in the limelight, but people are blaming children dancing on Bollywood item numbers for increasing rates of child sexual abuse

This is not in any way a defence or promotion of item numbers (if anything, I do agree they objectify women and should be banned), but blaming innocent victims for someone else’s barbarity has never been right and never will be

What astonishes me even more is that seemingly normal people, who superficially do not condone such cruel incidents, still think it is acceptable to deflect the responsibility on victims instead of the perpetrators

These victims aren’t adults who can sense danger, or who in the eyes of our society were “asking for it”

These victims are innocent, vulnerable and clueless children who deserve anything but exploitation

https://twitter

com/curljhung/status/953692507598188544 Around the globe, there is a strong movement taking place against sexual harassment, assault and victimisation

As with any other campaign, the #MeToo movement is also evolving with each passing day

Some stories are confusing, some enlightening, and some simply heart-wrenching

However, all of us are learning something through every emerging story, and ultimately expect the movement to bring a positive change

Unfortunately, in Pakistan, we are fast regressing to an era where the victims are further victimised by our society

If a woman gets harassed, we assume that she wasn’t dressed appropriately

Similarly, if a child gets raped, the parents are deemed irresponsible

The blame is shifted on to everyone but the perpetrator

After reading some disturbing comments on the videos, I am horrified to see the mentality that prevails in our country

Seeing a six-year-old child dance should not be pleasurable or sexually gratifying to anyone

Most people have been objecting on one of the girl’s clothing, but if clothes could protect people from monsters, young boys would never get raped

https://twitter

com/salmanhassan41/status/954975770102902784 https://twitter

com/xinnia452/status/952872762577772545 https://www

facebook

com/nauman

arfeen/posts/10214872155098673 Or should we now expect our young boys to wear a scarf or dupatta to protect them from abusers? Can we not even send our children for Quran lessons anymore? Is there no accountability for corrupt politicians and law enforcers who have time and again disappointed us and endangered our children by acquitting criminal elements? And most importantly, is it not the sick people who attack and rape little children that deserve all of our condemnation, loathing and rage? Blaming a child’s attire or their dance moves to justify looking at them in a sexual manner is not normal

It seems that as a society, we are so desperate to avert from the real causes of perversion that we end up accusing our children

The prevalence of this attitude and mentality can only further delay the realisation that though there is indeed something wrong in our society, none of the fault lies in our children



Date:24-Jan-2018 Reference:View Original Link