This should be a welcoming thought after the brutishly dark winter months
Instead, Amina worried
Her stomach wrought with anxiety
She bit the skin off her lips and tapped her slim fingers vigorously against the cup
Her husband was cheating
Introduced by their parents Amina and her husband, Ali, consented to marry because their match appeared correct; educated, good families and good looking
Amina felt lucky and knew women would be envious of her good looking and successful husband
She was pregnant soon after they married
Although he was always home till late, hardly touching her, she assumed that this was the normal married life as she had seen of her parents and heard from friends
He fulfilled all her financial requests and she fulfilled all her duties as a wife
She took care of their daughter, his parents and hosted his family and colleagues with a buffet of dishes and presenting herself well by speaking little and smiling a lot
She had little idea who his friends were and assumed his friends were men and, out of possessiveness, he did not ask her to meet with them
She did not think while searching for her earrings that morning that Ali’s phone would light up revealing a message from some Sarah, who was missing her husband desperately
She stood paralysed while she imploded within
Amina watched her husband check his phone; she searched his face for signs of guilt or excitement – he was expressionless
He simply said, “I’ll be home late
” Amina knew very well that the majority of Pakistani husbands in her circle cheated on their wives; and now she was the latest victim
She had read an article in which some Western couples decided to have open marriages because the expectation of a spouse to be reliable, compatible friend and exciting lover was unsustainable – it seems however Pakistan is already a step ahead
The Pakistani man enjoys a forgiving society in which without the explicit consent of his wife and with implicit consent from his society, he, without guilt and fear, breaks monogamy
Her society is far more unforgiving
She was the wife and mother of his child and caretaker of his family and home
The Pakistani wife is not to be touched or spoken to; the ideal Pakistani wife stands silently and submissively by her husband because they both know that she needs him more than he needs her
Amina could not dream of calling her friends to reveal her issues; they would revel in it
She phoned her mother instead, who came over immediately
Amina sobbed as she told her mother about Ali’s new Sarah
Amina’s stout mother smiled
“This is nothing! You almost had me worried, beta
” Amina, shocked, stared at her mother blankly
“What do you mean Amma?” “He’s a man! It’s in his nature
As long as you’re a good wife and keep the house comfortable, he will be too dependent on you to ever leave for such loose character women
He’s given you a child, a home, security and a good lifestyle; what more do you want?” “But Amma! He doesn’t love me!” “Love shove! Only fools marry for love
Love dies after a while anyway
Marriage is about security and family and you have that
Besides, what will you do if you leave him? You know everyone will blame you for being a selfish fool
Who will care for you and your daughter? It is hard enough to be a woman in this society; do you have any idea how difficult it is to be a single divorced woman with a child in this society? Who will marry you?” her mother shook her head in disgust at the thought of her daughter getting a divorce, “Be smart beta
Have faith in Allah”
Amina’s friends always stayed away from divorced women, calling them nothing but trouble
Exhausted, Amina crawled into her bed; she needed to decide her next steps but struggled to stop herself from wondering what Ali liked in Sarah
Could she be like the Hetaeras in Ancient Greece engaging him intellectually and exciting him physically? She must feel confident knowing she offers him sexual openness in a society where this quality appears rare
He must complain how boring his wife is; how he cannot do things with her that he can with Sarah – Amina wept into her pillow
She sat up as she heard Ali walk in late that night
He silently sat down on the edge of the bed with his back towards her, undoing his tie, barely noticing her swollen eyes from her torrential tears
She detected a hint of alcohol and a woman’s perfume
She controlled her tears and pushed to smile through them
She must confront him
The warm glow of the lamp softened his features; she did not know who this man was or whether she even liked him anymore but she loved him still for the provider and father he was
She had to decide; could she live in this suffocating silence forever? Would he stop seeing Sarah if she asked? Would he run after her if she left? She needed to know
Her heart raced as she looked towards him, she asked softly, “Have you had dinner?”
| Date: | 26-Mar-2015 | Reference: | View Original Link |
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